What is the cost of a friendship? Is there any price tag along with it as soon as we nod our heads or shake our hands as the gesture of acknowledging the start of the friendship? What is the true responsibility of a friend?
Ironically, we seem to know the answers and yet, at the same time, we do not! It is hard nowadays to get a true friend like we used to have back then. The loyalty of a friend is a rare thing to be seen anywhere. Why? What had happened?
Affirmatively, I can say that the culture of materialism and individualism had tailored us to be such. True friends are very hard to come by nowadays. I have seen even the best of friends had became otherwise when self interest meddles in between.
The human species had evolved back into the self absorbed beings, just like what it used to be back in the beginning of time. The act of requesting the help and sacrifice from friends is deemed to be the stepping stone for self excellence or solution tools for personal problem, without feeling, acknowledging or showing any gratitude towards the rendering party. The self absorption attributes has molded most of us to be ingeniously efficient in championing the manipulation strategy among those around us.
I feel sorry for those who are not true or sincere to their friends.
Recently, I had witnessed how friends of twenty odd years had turned out sour due to the self absorption attitude of a party. A sacrifice of a party for an old friend had been abused by the other party. I saw the frustration of the rendering party which had resulted to his withdrawal from the friendship.
In another case, there was an example of what I would categorize it as betrayal. Back stabbing is normal among friends who have grudges, but back stabbing of a friend, who acts angelic to another, is totally unacceptable. With God’s will, the loop would be completed when the third party informs the unsuspecting friend. That is the splinter that rots the friendship as the informed party starts to feel betrayed.
As a Muslim, it is quite humiliating to be witnessing such a thing among the same congregate. The love has gone! Where has it disappeared to? With all the preaches and campaigns of love, faith (Iman), and all the good values taught in the religion by all, including those who are involved in the two cases I mentioned above, I have yet to digest how can we be sincere and faithful with God and our own selves if we are unable to be sincere and faithful among ourselves in the community.
As I am writing this memoir, I recall what my Dad had taught us. He told us to be careful and discreet in selecting our friends, as it will affect our lives. There are friends that can be considered as true friends, whom we can rely on anytime and in any situation. There are also friends that can just be considered as just friends, whom we should put an arm’s length. We were told not to find fault with anyone and not to create any enemy throughout our lives. It is okay if people do not like us as we are not perfect. As long as we keep to our principles, we are on the right track.
In order to evaluate whether we had chosen the right one to be our true friend, grab all opportunities that may test our friend(s). Sometimes, it is best to have a few quality friends, rather than having many friends who are not sincere to us.
I used to think that my Dad was just being discriminating, but I realized now that he was right all the way. In a world full of selfish people nowadays, friends can actually turn out to be our foe, without us knowing or realizing it.
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