If you Have, Give; if you Lack, Seek

So, this will be my last post from Indonesia. Tomorrow (Wednesday the 30th of April) we fly out of Jakarta, touch down in Kuala Lumpur after 2 hours’ flight and then wait for my hubby’s next assignment. I am looking forward to spending some time with our family, especially my mum and parents-in-law. At the same time, I am sad to be leaving friends here and the serenity of this neighbourhood. You'll know what I mean from the pictures.

Here’s a peek of our last two weeks in Indonesia. First, as I promised, the trips to Bandung and Bogor. We had great time shopping in Bandung. It’s where most of the factory outlets are located.

We also had fun in Bogor, especially the Safari. We were very nervous when we were in the dangerous zone - the lions and the tigers’ habitat. Luckily it was past lunch time. Anyone who had been to this Safari will surely agree that the Bird Show and the Wild, Wild West Show are a plus to the excursion. We had decided before we got here that we wanted to purchase some local handicrafts to take home with us. And just my luck (and my hubby’s nightmare!!! he..he..), the annual event of INACRAFT expo, was held in the Jakarta Convention Centre since the 23rd to 27th of April. It was like the whole Indonesian crafts were in one place. Story short, just put it this way....I had entered the hall empty handed and upon walking through the exit door, I had all my fingers hanging with bags. :D (You can’t blame a lady for having good taste!)

Know what’s my ‘weakness’? Whenever I go abroad, I will buy something for everyone at home. When I say everyone, I mean EVERYONE. My hubby calls it my ‘bad’ habit (and it’s already spreading to my children). But, I simply call it generosity. I was brought up with that in me. “Whenever you visit someone, never go empty handed. Even if someone visits you, never let them go empty handed too. No matter how small or how cheap, it does not matter. It’s the thought that counts,” my religious teacher or Ustazah, would teach us in class.

I read somewhere; there was an Afghan saying that goes, “Give even an onion, graciously.” I fully agree with it. Why? During my youngster days, I remember very well that whenever I visited the elderly, they would pack something for me to take home. Cakes, fruits or the least, the day’s home cooked dish. That’s how the traditions of close knitted community affected a girl into the lady I am now. I suppose, it is a delicate methodology to spread love.

The above stated Malay saying had proven that this practice is essential in the community. When we were at the pit bottom of our life, the unemployment episode, everyone we know had unconditionally extended their helping hand to pull us through. So, I guess, souvenir from abroad is nothing compared to that, right?

So, here we are, with an additional huge bag to bring home (I am beginning to worry about the excess baggage charges tomorrow!), all packed up, ready to head home and be like the ‘Santa Clause’ next week! :D

Eat Coconut while you have Teeth

Yesterday was one of my weekly routine ~ my hair day. While blowing my wet hair to dry, something caught my eyes. Then, I recognised it. Oh my goodness!! My first white hair!!!!!! Gosh…I am only 37 going on 38! This can’t be happening so soon! I am an old woman already? (:0) Time flies so fast that we sometimes miss out things going on in our lives, even having white hair (or is it grey hair?). For all that we know it is already there.

Well, who am I kidding? Everyone goes through this process. My hubby, who is only three years my senior, has half of his head shining with white hair. It’s time for me to join the club, I guess. (He enjoyed making fun of me once I told him about it!)

I often thought that being old means looking old and feeling tired. That may not be true. Around here in Jakarta, I see and learn that grandmothers in their late 40s or even 50s are still working as maids or even pulling carts selling food along the roadside. They even look younger and energetic. After a few interviews, I found out that they religiously take ‘jamu’, a bitter mixture of natural ingredients of herbs, since they reached puberty. Another abstention is the ice cubes or even ice water. (Huaaaaa….how can I cut on that??!!!!)

One person that I must highlight here is my mother. She will be 60 this May and she is still looking good and energetic; driving around doing errands or visiting her friends and relatives; and she goes on tours. (For Malay folks, it’s like “What?!!!”) We are both often referred to as sisters, instead of mother and daughter. (Hmmm….Wonder if that downgrades me or upgrades her….;P)

Anyway, I am grateful that I have been blessed with a mother and a grandmother who are so particular and strict about pre and post natal treatment. I remember the hard times I had to go through after giving birth to both my children. Sulking was what I did most of both my 44 confinement days. I had to go through a high carbs, heaty and dry diet. (I suppose that contributed to my additional inches!)

Three times of ‘bertungku’ and ‘berbengkung’ is a daily ritual. ‘Bertungku’ is a treatment of hot river stone wrapped with selected spices and herbs, tied together into a pouch using cotton cloth. The hot pouch is then used as a pressure massage to loosen tense muscles, alleviate pain, and break excess fat and cellulite. It also helps improve the blood circulation and the functioning of uterus, resulting to recharged energy and desire. ‘Berbengkung’ is a tummy wrap made of several metres of cotton cloth. The bengkung is used to wrap the body so as to push up the uterus, clear water retention, wind, spasm, shrinks the tummy and helps to reduce weight.

A pair of socks is like my second skin. It has to be worn 24/7, except to the toilet. And, top of the notch, I am not to get out of my room for 44 days! I was like the princess stuck in a tower. Reason being: to avoid any non-stop bleeding or blood spillage if I accidentally hit anything while walking recklessly around. (Don’t ask me where this came from….I don’t have the answer.)

Nevertheless, now, Walla! After ten years since I last gone through my dreaded after birth confinement period, apart of the stretch marks and my first white hair, I still look good and feel good! As much as I hated the treatment, I guess, it pays off. So, girls, listen to your mum! ;)

About me aging, I hope to enjoy my life to the fullest by growing old gracefully, of course, with my hubby by my side.

Arrogance is the Full Sister of Ignorance

What a long weekend! My in-laws were here for a short holiday and we were happy to accommodate their needs. We went to Bandung and Bogor during the weekend and had an enjoyable time, especially the Safari in Bogor and the factory outlets in Bandung. (I’ll write about it in a later post.)

Anyway, we had encountered an incident on Monday morning. While waiting for my hubby to get into the mpv, my only one-week-old down stairs neighbour had arrogantly scolded our driver just because he was in ‘her’ parking lot. (Since we are living on the top floor of a townhouse, she is our only down stairs neighbour.) To make things more embarrassing, my in-laws were already inside the mpv.

We were shocked with the slim and pretty Chinese lady’s stern and arrogant ‘morning greet’. My hubby just apologized and we moved to start the day’s itinerary, refusing to let the unpleasant occurrence to spoil our spirit of the day.

Once we got home later that afternoon, my hubby called the management to seek their assistance to verify our actual parking lot. We were confused as we had no problems with regards to such matters before. So far, expatriate residents in this community, regardless of their nationalities, live in harmony and tolerance.

To our surprise, we were informed that our usual spot is actually our parking lot as per the master plan of the estate, although the new resident had instructed maintenance office to change our unit’s D-1-5 signage to her D-0-5! Her actual parking lot is about 500 meters further around the block. (Haa..haa..!)

The management apologized for the inconvenience caused and added that the fussy Singaporean lady (who is married to an American), had lodged a handful of miscellaneous complaints since she had moved in. We also learned that we were not the only ‘victim’ of her kiasu attitude. Other neighbours and even the management had the same experience.

Moral of the story is always to behave ourselves once we are abroad and to be considerate to others in all situations. It affects our country’s name as others look at us as our nationality first, then, who we are as a person. No matter how great we feel, there is no harm being polite and humble. At the end of the day, with God’s will, things may turn out the other way around! In our case, we had the last laugh. :)

Cut Your Coat according to Your Cloth

“Abah, please…. I promise to be a good boy. Just buy me the PS3 and I’ll get straight As, I promise. Fadly has one. Daniel also owns one. We’ll have one too, please…,” pleaded my youngest son to his Dad the other weekend.

I was like “What?! You need another game station just because your cousin and friend have one? You already own an X-Box and it’s not enough?” Of course, the request was being declined. (After the you’d-better-not-buy stare I gave my hubby, that is! He was already melting to his son’s Garfield-pleading look.) Talking about raising kids in the new millennium! I suppose that they think buying game stations like X-Box, Nintendo, PS3 or PSP, laptops, i-pods, 3G phones and other hi-tech gadgets is just like buying titbits by the roadside!

When asked why we need another game station, when we already have one, both of my kids explained that the X-Box that we owned is obsolete. It is hard to find new games compared to the latest version of X-Box 360. Thanks to the manufacturer’s business strategy, we, the parents, have to go through this episode once in every couple of years.

I had a chat with few of my friends the other day. It seems that they have the same thing going on at home. Finally,we came up with a hypothesis that these new era kids need these gadgets or tools to keep up appearances with their peers. Their peer pressure in the same slice of segmentation has evolved tremendously compared to what we had gone through last time. No doubt, by letting our children play these games help them to stimulate their visual and mental reflects. But at the end of the day, the effect is yet to be discussed. (Or did I miss that one? :P)

Last time, someone having a BMX bicycle or a ‘game and watch’ would be the most famous fellow in school or in the neighbourhood. Still, that did not cost that guy’s parents a fortune to pay! Imagine paying thousands for these new nannies of the century! Yup, that’s what I decided to call these gadgets. The new nannies!

Nowadays, more children tend to be spending more time indoors with these gadgets compared to be having quality outdoor activities. However, on a brighter note, with the increase of child kidnapping cases these days, I guess, parents are left with no choice but to encourage our children to stay indoors. Nevertheless, without realising it, we are actually growing a new bunch of couch potatoes. No wonder the statistics of obese children had risen up tremendously as the years passed.

So, parents, are we prepared to be hustled by the latest breed of salesmen, our own kids?

The Devil Dances in Empty Pockets

These few weeks, I have been reading closely about the rise of two major global issues. It shakes me up to even think of the consequences of the situation.

First, we have the credit crisis in the US that had domino effect on markets around the world. Inflation rates are also on the rise globally. Although top financial officials claimed that the Asian region is not at risk of another financial crisis similar to the 1997 downturn as the current situation is completely different from 11 years ago, I still have my doubts. The fear of recession had always haunted me since we had our share of unemployment episode for two years, back then. So, lesson learnt. Be prepared for the next round.

Next, we have the world food crisis, which is worse than the world financial crisis as it’s hurting a lot more people around the globe. Over the past few years, the prices of rice, wheat, cooking oil, chillies and other basic foodstuffs have doubled or tripled, with much of the increase taking place just in the past few months. There already have been food riots around the world.

It may be okay to the high income families around the world, regardless any country they are in. As long as they are considered wealthy in their society, the rising price of food is just another daily squabble of the kitchen personnel. It is a different story for families who have to live from hand to mouth. Living on a budget tight enough to choke them may result in higher percentage of poverty and of course, crimes and vice.

After reading about the armed robbery involving about RM3.3 million at the KLIA last week, I was left with awe. How could that have happened? In Malaysia? Twenty or thirty years back, we could hardly read about such dangerous crime in the newspapers!

Then, it struck me. I suppose the rising crime rate everywhere in the world today, including Malaysia, is because of the instability and inadequacy of each individual’s well being. It may be in terms of financially, spiritually, mentally et cetera. The desire to fulfil one’s ‘wants’ exceeds the desire to fulfil just one’s ‘needs’.

Remember when we were in school, we were taught that the cavemen had to have barbaric qualities in order to survive? I think it is happening again. The humankind had gone back to where we came from, the barbarians. After centuries of cultural evolution, our ancestors’ efforts seem to be wasted down the drain. Everywhere we see, there is no more guilt of taking things not ours. No more sincerity in doing things. Not even fear of sin for taking someone else’s life! What a world we are living in! (I guess, due to the excessiveness of jungle clearing, had made the beasts and devils in the jungle to choose each of these beings as their ‘new home’ that had turned them to be selfish human beings or maybe even zombies!....So, stop chopping down the trees!)

I looked at my children and my heart sank. What will be in store for them two or three decades from now? I do not have the answer. Like any other mother, I may be able to just say, “Que sera sera…” but I feel that it is my obligation as the older generation now to preserve and hand down the gift of life God had given me, not only with quantity, but also with quality.

As for the two major global crises, on the macro level, let those with the bird’s eye view do their jobs. All we have to do at the micro level is just to put our best foot forward.

Courtesy is Free

It was a beautiful Wednesday morning as always yesterday, until I checked my inbox to read e-mails from friends, near and far. Among the many mails, there was a mail for a comment sent to this humble blog of mine. How sweet…. Someone had dropped by and left me a note. What a beautiful Wednesday indeed.

Eagerly, I read through the lines and how astonished I was with the tone of it. At the beginning, that was how it was; but later it amused me that I just decided to reject and ignore the comment.

Later in the evening, over a pile of creased clothes, while doing the normal homemaker’s dreaded chore of ironing, I decided to give my two cents. (Don’t know whether it was either the heat and steam from the iron or the adrenaline rush from being challenged by a stranger that had affected this change of decision!) Nevertheless, I was and still am happy to have the following constructive critic for my effort to shift the paradigm of the normal typical Malay SAHM population. You may be asking, "How can this help?", right?.... Well, put it this way…. Blogging may be a new therapy for women to release their stress and let their frustration out. Therefore, there will be a lower percentage of nagging wives and mothers at home! Make any sense?

Anyway, the mail wrote:

abdul has left a new comment on your post "Here We Go!!":

hehe.. wat blog plak ek..jom kita tgk berapa lama bertahan.. saya dulu just 1 month only, pastu malaih dah.. wakakaka

So, Encik Abdul, whoever and wherever you may be, younger or older than me, I must say, “From the bottom of my heart, thank you.”

That’s the least I can do considering that it is just what I was taught to do, back in my school days. My headmistress, Sister Aidan, a well-built and strict Irish nun, had taught me well. So did my Ustaz Ahmad of the Penang State Mosque. And of course, so did my very particular and disciplined parents, grandparents, aunties, uncles and the whole tribesmen!

Then, we were taught to be polite, well mannered, ethical et cetera. The simplest thing as greetings such as “Assalamu’alaikum” or “Good Morning” or “Hello” was essential to portray our traits, personality and teachings. It was also a very important indicator of how refined our family’s principles and background were. We owe it to our forefathers (or even our ancestors!) to uphold what had been taught and brought down the line of the family tree.

Nowadays, I find that most children lack these values. I don’t really know what they are teaching in school these days, but I see very unsatisfactory products out of it. (Speaking from the experience as a mother to two hyperactive boys, trust me, I know what I am talking about!) There are no more ‘Sister Aidans’ or ‘Ustaz Ahmads’ around to assist these kids in schools. Schools are now more exam-oriented. (And it is beginning to sound more like the manufacturing term of “result-oriented” each year!). That’s why more mothers, like me, are staying at home; to make sure that these values be inculcated in our children. (And in case you are wondering…..Nope, my Mum had worked two shifts daily throughout the whole 35 years of her life and now happily enjoying her pension! Thanks to teachers like Sister Aidan and Ustaz Ahmad, she can have it all...)

In short, Encik Abdul, if you may have any difficulty digesting my humble English Language (not that I belittle your ability and skills!; sincerely, I do apologise if you feel offended in any manner), I’ll just translate it in these two Malay sentences that my grandmother used to nag at her grandchildren, “Kalau masuk rumah orang, bagi salam dulu, jangan tau serbu saja! Dah masuk, duduk diam-diam kat depan, jangan meronda satu rumah!”….. Another thing, I extend my sympathy for your failure to continue what you had started that lasted just a month, after being stung by the typical Malay ‘bug’ i.e. laziness.

At least, I am in my second month!… And still going, InsyaAllah….;)

Every End has a New Beginning

A few days ago, I received news that one of my friend’s father had passed away in a road accident. I know it must have been difficult for her and she is struggling hard this moment.

Kak Ina, be strong! Banyakkan berdoa…Semoga Allah mencucuri Rahmat ke atas rohnya…

I know how she feels right now. I had my share of grieving moments ten years back. I lost my Dad to a sudden heart attack when I was two weeks away from delivering my youngest child. Imagine that! It was really bad. What makes it worse was that I was supposed to spend the day with him that day, but instead, I decided to postpone the visit later that afternoon. As if my guilt was not enough, I was told that he had talked to all of my family members, except me, earlier that fateful day. It was as though he knew his time was up. My mum told me that he complained that the line could not get through when he tried calling me several times. I guess, I had practically cried myself to labour! I even had illusions that my Dad had kissed my forehead while I was sleeping after the delivery.

I remember reading somewhere, a Chinese proverb said “We cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over our heads, but we can refuse to let them build nests in our hair”. That was when I decided to turn the table around and look at it from a different perspective. I started to count my blessings. I was lucky to have my husband and my eldest child, who was only four at that time. My hubby became my pillar of support and to my surprise, my four year old was acting mature enough to be my soothing charm.

Anyway, the important lesson of life when we loose someone dear to us is that for every lost, there will be a replacement. It may be in so many ways…All we have to do is to start looking and analysing, to realise what or who it is. It sounds weird and funny at the same time, right? Well, look around us. Everything has a cycle. Eventually it makes a lot of sense. Death is the great leveller. In my case, God had given our family with the gift of a newborn life, as the antidote to our sorrow. I began to understand that everything that happens in life has a continuous story or reason to it. As much as we hate to loose, may it be someone or something, we have to accept the fact that every adversity carries with it the seed of equal or greater benefit. It’s just life. And with each difficulty that we have to go through, it will make each of us a better person.

East, West, Home's Best

W.K. Kelly was right. No matter where on the globe we are, home is where the heart is. Not that I’m being selfish; but I think everybody has the same opinion.

When I was younger, I used to assume that being able to travel the world is an exceptional way to live a life. I eventually learned that travelling the world is also a journey of self discovery. I started to appreciate the little things in life such as the people around me, the freedom, the food, the health et cetera.

Anyway, we had flown back home to KL during the weekend for a few days. The first thing that was on our agenda was to 'hit' our favourite nasi kandar restaurant. Hmmm…it was heaven on earth! :)

It is a sumptuous national dish, brought to Malaysia 70 years ago by the Indian Muslim immigrants. Since the 1930s, nasi kandar has played a distinctive role in the culinary history of the colonial Penang, and later throughout the nation. The aroma of the rice and fragrant curries, vegetables, fried fish, beef and chicken could make the mouth water. What makes nasi kandar unique is how the different curries are all mixed with the rice.

I was so into indulging myself with the food that I forgot to snap a picture! :p.... Anyway, found an image on Yahoo!...and this is how it looks like….