Happy is as Happy does

It’s the end of the year again. For as long as I can remember, I love year ends. Since I was a young girl, I remember having my father around for the whole December each year. He purposely cleared his Annual Leave throughout the whole of December, and that makes it a family ritual, where we would have our father all to ourselves during the year end. The memory of the following year’s preparation for a new school term would linger around my father’s active presence and participation in the whole process.

Well, this year’s December seem to be much more meaningful to me. Why? Because, after three false alarms – where right after the first one, had forced my hubby to rush home immediately from Lagos; after two solid weeks of Medical Leave with the strict instruction to stay in bed and after numerous episodes of contractions, I had successfully given birth to another baby boy on Friday, the 26th, at 5.55 pm, with the help of my new best friend, the epidural. (Thank you to the fellow who invented epidural!) Although he is 25 days early, he is healthy.

Yeap, you read it right…it’s a boy again! He..he.. (Guess the strong male gene runs in the family!) So, that makes him the seventh grandson in a row for my mum!!! Well, here he is….

This is my sixth day of confinement and so far, it has been quite an experience, considering that I had long forgotten how the birthing process should have been. With the latest products for confinement mums, I am so grateful that confinement nowadays is a more pleasant experience. This time, although I still religiously follow my family’s traditions of confinement ‘ritual’, I am open to adopt modern and medically recommended products to be blended with the traditional ways.

Anyway, wishing all a Happy New Year and May Next Year Be A Better One Than This Year.

Do not Allow Sins to Get beyond Creeping

Compartmentalisation. Organisation. I came across these words when I was trying to figure out how to describe ‘catalog’ when I was doing a write up for my work. Then, it struck me; wonder if these words could be applied to our lives. I could not help thinking about it throughout the whole journey home from work that day.

Can anyone in this world possibly compartmentalise his or her life? (Of course, I mean besides those who really are sick with the multiple personality illness.) Do normal, healthy and wise people like us able to segregate our lives, especially our emotions and relationship, into different compartments?

Hmmm… Let’s see… Since young, we were taught attributes that could have prevented us from becoming such a person. We were taught never to lie to anyone, including ourselves. We were taught to be true to everyone, including God, our family, teachers, friends, relatives, partners et cetera. Back then, the word or concept of multi tasking was not really emphasized. We were to concentrate one task at a time. Finish things completely, one by one, with excellence. That was why when we see any child; we would always go with the sentence, “Oh! What an angel..” It is because we were taught to be an angel. As we grow up, the real world became our teacher to adjust and change these attributes to  be a more complex and complicated  in nature . What had happened to the ‘angel’ in us?

Today, we frequently read in the newspapers and the magazines about the alarming rising rate of divorce cases in Malaysia, especially the Muslim. There are also common cases of people being charged with corruption, abuse of power, adultery et cetera. What is going on? Had these people been compartmentalising their lives that they failed to handle the truth? Or had they been living a lie, that they tend to segregate their lives like a catalog that can conveniently be flipped and chosen from? If this is the world we are living in, I am so afraid for my children. How will it be for them? Will the values that we so very hard try to instill, be gone once they start to join the real world?

On the other hand, I wonder, do I live a life that can qualify me to be considered as one of this new species of human being? The last time I checked, I am still the person who I am. But, am I entitled to be my own judge? Hmm… Need to postmortem on this issue. Need to jot down in my journal, to add ‘soul search’ into my to-do list.

Anyway, I hope everything turns out right for everyone. After all, happiness is the ultimate thing that everyone seeks. It is just a matter of how we interpret it.

Adversity is a Gift

It has been some time since I last penned down my thoughts in this blog. I apologise to my regular readers and thank you for the e-mails dropped.

I had gone through a very interesting quarter of a year, the past three months, I mean. There were events that I could not digest until now that I decided to just go with the flow. Fated, I guess.

First, there was “The Accident” on our National Day, involving our car and a seventeen year old ‘Mat Rempit’ (or the ever-dangerous-street-cup-racer), which resulted our car to be stuck at the workshop for about a month, particularly, the Ramadhan or the fasting month; and the “Mat Rempit” to break his wrist. That was the first time ever, I saw a real stuntman, flying from his motorbike across the road, without any cameraman or director saying “Cut!”. I know it is not polite to be saying this, but, serves him right. Civilised human beings do not use the public road as a racing ring. Hope that he had learned his lesson.

Then, there was “The Operation” on the twentieth day of the fasting month. My eldest was complaining that he was having tummy ache due to constipation. We visited the general practitioner in our neighbourhood and she gave him a prescription for constipation and gastric pain. Guess what, it got worse and he soon had a temperature and was later referred to the specialist hospital. Immediately, he was warded as the doctors suspected that he had appendices pain. We were assured that it would be just a minor operation, taking about an hour tops. Next morning, after an hour long of waiting in front of the Operation Theater, the surgeon came out, with lots of blood on his scrub, asking our consent to cut longer than the one or so inches promised. He diagnose that my son’s appendices had burst and had severely affected his intestines. I nearly fainted, just by looking at the sight of the surgeon, let alone, with the gruesome news of the severity of my son’s illness! Luckily, hubby was with me, supporting me, physically.

Three and a half hours later, he was pushed to the Intensive Care Unit, when at the same time, the surgeon, came out explaining to us what had been done and showed us the ruined 10cm intestine which he had to cut off from my son’s abdomen. In the ICU, my heart sank over and over again, looking at how my son suffered. There were four tubes coming out from his body. One from his intestine and skin, to drain out the pus and germs; one from his other part of the intestine, to flow out his faeces; one from his nose, to drain out the hydrochloric acid from his tummy and one from his urine system, to drain out his urine. Apart from that there was a needle poking his hand to flow in his medicine, pain killer etc. It was really heart wrenching to see a thirteen year old having to go through such a thing.

He was not to take any fluid or food orally as his intestine had no activity and while waiting, he had vomited the hydrochloric acid from his stomach over and over again. We were not allowed to stay back in the ICU until three days later, where he was allowed to be placed in the single room ward. We literally camped in the hospital for eleven days, until two days before Eid Mubarak. Yup, not much to celebrate, except that we were grateful he was alive and getting better. Thankful because according to the specialist, in most cases of appendices which had burst and had infected the intestine, there would have been a very slim chance he could have survived. Today, he is well and healthy, life is back to normal.

Then, there was “The Work”, which ‘came’ to me a month ago. One of my clients (who is  also my hubby's friend) had offered me a very irresistible position in the organization. With a 150% increase in remuneration compared to what I was being paid as their consultant, I was offered the Head of Department’s position, regardless the fact that I was twenty eight weeks’ pregnant and asking to be in the office only four hours a day and work-at-home another four hours; the Board of Directors insisted that I came on board. It was too good to be true for a stay at home mum like me. On one hand, it was the excitement, but on the other hand, it was the guilt for leaving my kids at home, although it was only about six hours a day - inclusive the journey of forty minutes each way to and from KL. At last, after listing down the pros and cons, I opted to take the challenge and so far, it has been one and a half months! The solution: I take the challenge one day at a time. It was difficult at first, since my hubby had to be back in Nigeria three weeks ago. Everything has to be done all on my own. Discipline is my daily melody. Waking up as early as five every morning to prepare breakfast and lunch for the boys, and off to the office until I am back in the afternoon, to escape the terrible jam. Now, it has become a routine for us.

I was telling myself, in times of recession, I am not in the position to be picky and choosy, especially in my case, I did not apply for the job, but the job applied me! All I have to do is to be like the squirrels, gather as much nuts as possible for the winter season.

God has His ways to do things. Odd ones though. I do not wish that wealth be bestowed upon us by sacrificing my child’s intestine, my time with the children and my hubby’s time with the family. God knows better what’s in store for us. All that we can do is just do the best we can, within our boundaries, and pray hard that everything will turn out well and okay.

A Crown's No Cure for a Headache

Adulthood is responsibility. How did that happen?.....That had crossed my mind today. Hmm...How I have missed my childhood days; and of course, the ever exciting and carefree times of my adolescent life…Who wouldn’t?

We were taught to be ever ready to take responsibilities, no matter we like it or not, no matter what it would be, without any reservation. The truth is, it sucks. I envy those who can just shut down the ‘unwanted’ or ‘undesired’ responsibilities and be picky, just to suit their lifestyle or just simply their convenience.

Maybe because I was crowned to be the first born, the pressure of taking the saddle onto my back was intense, since as far back as I can remember. I guess, due to that fact, I can’t help but I seem to be putting that same pressure on my eldest child. I can see his resentment but in my belief, it is for his own good and the younger sibling(s)’ good. I try to evaluate each and every action that I make at every end of a day. I can only sum up in one sentence ~ it is tough being an adult but life must go on. We just have to make do with what’s blessed and given to us. Swallow it down our throat and don’t make any fuss about it. Try our level best not to worsen the situation, whatever it is.

Anyway, had received good news from my youngest brother today; we are blessed with another baby boy in the family, at about 11.56 am this morning. His second son was born today, as the Beijing Olympic 2008 starts. It was a normal birth, without any epidural or induction process. For all that we know, it was fate and good luck, because there are so many couples around the globe trying their very best, praying hard, scheduling for c-sections and even trying to induce labour so as to just have their babies on this historical date of 08.08.08 as their child’s birth date. I must be prepared later for my Chinese friends who will be saying “Huaaa… so ong la….” And with that, he makes the sixth grandchild for my mum, where all of them are BOYS. What a score!

Thinking back, how weird life can turn out to be. My baby brother, who was obviously the baby in the house, everything made for, very well pampered, is now a father of two boys. Will he be a real man who can take real responsibilities? Or does that ‘leadership’ being partially delegated to my sister-in-law who is the second child of four in her family? With that thought, I revert back to my situation. My hubby is a baby brother in his family too. Does that make him any less of a responsible man? Gee… I really have to see deeply into this matter…(after 15 years’ of marriage?…he..he ) Bottom line, I love the person whom both of them are. Maybe the 'give and take' makes things less frictional and makes everything balanced. That’s why they say marriage is made in heaven, because in true fact heaven is created by a blissful marriage. Am I making any sense? Or is it my maternal hormones talking?...

Anyway, I still say adulthood sucks. I wish I can be back in the 80s where everyday, life was a laid back, enjoyable, fun, exciting, interesting, carefree, stress free and heart warming event.

A Burden that One Chooses is Not Felt

Hmmmm….with this bulging belly of mine and additional kilos slowly catching me up, I am more prone to be a couch potato these days. Luckily I have few projects to keep me busy.

First, the SPM’s trial exam is just round the corner and both my student and I are really nervous about it.

Next, since it is past mid of the year, the audit exercise for my clients had just began. So, I’m up to my elbows doing ‘spring cleaning’ with the files and documents before being sent to the ever so stern auditors.

And last but not least, the preparation for my hubby's nephew’s wedding. Since the school holiday is just a couple of weeks away, I am busy preparing/decorating the gifts from the groom for the bride. Since I was a young a girl, I love ‘busybodying’ when the adults starts this process; and over the years, I tend to pick up the skills. It’s actually the hidden creative side of me emerging each time there’s wedding bells to be rung. These are a few which I had done and I promise to post more of the gifts and the occasion once the ceremony is done on the 16th.

Since hubby is still in Lagos, my routine chores had doubled with regards to the boys. This includes screaming at the top of my lungs just to remind them to either put the dirty laundry in the washing machine, feed the cats or even do their homework. Gee…boys will always be boys.

All in all, I am still hanging on steady, for now….

What Joy it is to be an Imperfect Human

It has been a while since I last wrote. Haven’t been myself lately. This pregnancy had been a topsy-turvy experience for me. Yes, this is my third time, but it’s different indeed. Seriously ~ lack of appetite, lots of throwing up, frequent bad headaches (more to migraines, I’d say!), major body aches, heavy eyes that I end up spending most of my 24/7 in bed and the worst, I could not stand any screens, may it be TV or laptop. My best friends were pickles, pickles and pickles. As I am at the end of the first trimester, I am feeling better and I think I can start writing again. (Yeay!!!)

Do I have lots of things to update. First, hubby’s to go for his new assignment next month. Guess where?....... Lagos, Nigeria. How long?...... Hmmmm….. Fifteen months top. So, since I am a “kenderaan berat” (that’s what my hubby calls me!), he insists that I am to stay back in Malaysia and join him next year, although I don’t mind tagging along. So, we are basically busy packing and preparing for his trip.

Next, our excitement to window shop for baby’s stuff. Gosh… We really are far behind with the latest gadgets and necessities for babies. It was really embarrassing when the salesgirls were smiling away when we were asking so many questions about each gadget. I felt so old! Ha..ha..

Anyway, I guess, these are parts of the joy of being a parent.

To Believe with Certainty, we must Begin by Doubting

I apologise for the silence. I am just out of the twilight zone I was in since last week. It was denial at first but later, after Saturday, I was in the state of ……….(Goodness!! Me, the chatterbox of the family, actually do not have any word to describe how I felt!)

Okay, here’s what happened. Last week, I was late and as usual, just did the HPT in the wee hours of the Tuesday’s dawn and left the HPT on the sink to take my bath, expecting that there would be just a single line reflected at the HPT’s display window ( for the hundredth time, I guess). After the shower, I glanced at the HPT and I rubbed my eyes over and over again and I could not believe my eyes. There they were, TWO lines, ‘staring’ back at me…. I kept quiet and went numb the next five minutes and as I was about to perform my morning prayer, I casually told my hubby, who were reciting the Holy Quran, to check something out on the sink. He came into the room, grinning, and could not continue what he was doing earlier, due to excitement!

Guess what he did next? He picked up the phone to inform my mum at 6:30 am!!! My mum was like freaking out to be having her phone ringing at that hour! (Who wouldn’t?) But she was thrilled, just like her son-in-law. As for me, I was denying the fact that I may be pregnant. We fixed an appointment with my gynaecologist but unfortunately she was fully booked for the next five days. So, we had to settle for Saturday. Imagine the whole 120 hours I had to go through last week! I even had my hubby out to buy other expensive brands of HPT, just to prove that the earlier test was a false alarm. I end up having three positive HPTs!

Then, Saturday came. The doctor laughed her heart out when I showed her the three HPTs and after the ultrasound, she announced “Congratulations! It’s no doubt, we are six weeks’ pregnant!”

Oh my goodness!!! After ten years! I had even forgotten how it was to be pregnant and the birthing process! Gee, I guess, after the consumption of about 335 metformin pills and losing about 18kgs of weight within a year, since last June, it’s finally proven that PCOS can be controlled. One thing I learned from this experience is never to give up and keep asking from Him, unconditionally.

The above Polish saying is right. I had doubted this pregnancy at first, just to be able to believe in certainty. In my last post on the 14th May, I mentioned that I had stopped dreaming and hoping to have a girl. Well, I can dream and hope after all! I am even a happier lady right now.

Together they are Harder to Break, Separated they are Easily Snapped

Since I came back home some three weeks ago, I noticed that the post election turmoil is still hovering around the media. I suppose, the peak was the drastic move made by our ex-PM on Monday, had shaken the Malay community in Malaysia. As an ordinary Malaysian, I really do hope that the big guys know what they are doing. It is the future of our youngsters at stake here. Not just merely as any political tug of war.

When times like this, my grandfather’s face flashed in my mind. I still remember his last words to me, before he was admitted to the general hospital and later was brought home, dead at the age of seventy nine due to pneumonia. I was about thirteen years of age at that time. He said in his special language, “No matter what happens, be like this fist and stick together as a family; we can stand strong against any problem,” showing me his right fist. He was a deaf man, but he was very smart, strong and articulate. As the eldest grandchild, I had the privilege to learn how to communicate with the deaf.

Bottom line, no matter how different are our beliefs, principles and so forth, just be objective and stay in focus to really carry out the entrusted obligations. Not to just fulfil the personal agenda. We should learn from the past where most of the lost cities and vanished civilisations on the globe were destroyed due to the greed beyond imagination, although they had the most evolved, advanced and sophisticated technologies at their point of time. Point here is, the ‘punishment’ was to everyone, not just to the selfish.

Hope that Malaysia will NOT be a place where the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer in future. (Trust me, it’s not a pleasant sight…I’ve seen it all, in other countries.) There should be an even distribution of wealth throughout the nation and everyone will prosper. Prioritising is essential at this point of time, where recession and the food crisis are in sight.

From my observation, I noticed that we were taught by the older generation, the baby boomer’s generation, to work hard to acquire wealth in terms of material. Then, we instil that value into our children and indirectly, we are spoiling the new generation with materialism. Branded and expensive items are their first preference, although they know that the family cannot afford it. With the ‘love’ ticket, we, the older generation tend to borrow, beg or even steal to fulfil this spoilt brad’s request. (That’s why more adults are being blacklisted due to the credit cards’ NPLs!)

Young generation should be taught the importance of embracing values like respect, trustworthy, responsibility, diligent, humble, et cetera. Materialism should be abolished from their mindset. This is because they will be the new leaders to steer this country.

The One Who Teaches is the Giver of Eyes

With the Teacher’s Day just celebrated two days ago, and of course the long weekend Malaysians are enjoying, what more can you ask for?... Anyway, had been busy with the kids last Teacher’s Day. You must be wondering how come? They are the students! Right, they are the students, not the teachers. And yet, they give me migraine each year when 16th May comes.

“Ibu, what can I give my teachers this year?” See what I mean? It is like a must for my children to be asking me this same question every year. And, instead of making a fuss about it, I went along with them. I suppose, what’s with a small token compared to the knowledge given by these teachers. This year I got their teachers a scarf each. On the afternoons of the 16th May each year, I’ll see a few of my neighbours, who are teachers by profession, carrying loads of presents out of their cars, with big smiles on their faces! Hmm...must be nice being appreciated each year. On another note, we usually celebrate formal educationists each year. We, however, tend to forget about the informal educationists. This includes the tuition teachers, the religious teachers, the mothers, the parents, the grandmothers, the grandfathers et cetera. (A point to ponder on.)

Talking of teachers, there’s one particular teacher that is still stuck in my head since I was in Standard Five. Her name is Mrs Fong and she was one of the feared teachers in my school. She taught Mathematics and she was considered to be the kid sister of the lioness. She used to have a few of us, the Maths-dumb-heads, sat on the floor, in front of the class, to either finish up our homework or do our corrections. Due to that fact, it was no surprise why I used to hate and failed Maths, especially in that particular year, although my parents would spend hours a day each night to ensure that I did my homework.

She was certain that I would obtain 5Es for my Standard Five Assessment Examination. She told the class that she would cut off her head if I could obtain even a C! How could she! And when the results were published, she was beaming the whole morning. I had the confidence that I could have obtained at least 5Cs. That was good enough for me, at that time. And guess what? I obtained, straight As and all she could say was, “I don’t need to chop off my head. It was all worth it,” patted my shoulder and smiled, while handing me the exam’s results slip.

It was as though I was flying somewhere else although I was physically there. I cried the whole journey home. My family was very proud of me, although I still could not believe what had happened.

Over many years, I realised that what Mrs Fong did was to challenge me, mentally and the ‘abuse’ was to challenge my guts. Until today, I am ever so grateful to Mrs Fong for her effort to wake me up. Since then, I had tried to strive for excellence in everything I do. The girl who hated and was weak in Maths had done outstandingly for her Maths during her school years, had developed an articulate mind that she fell in love with numbers and now had made numbers to be her dough of bread. It is very true as they say, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and he'll eat forever."

Teachers, wherever you are, thank you.

Children are a Poor Man’s Riches

The router is up and running since last night and this means, I’m back. Anyway, I suppose it is still not too late to be wishing all mums around the world “Happy Belated Mother’s Day”. Luckily it was on a Sunday. So, everyone was at home. Guess what I did the whole Sunday…. house cleaning, rearranging the furniture and laundry management. Free and fun way to sweat…. ;)

My brother took the trouble to fly up from Johor Bahru to Penang to celebrate Mother’s Day with my Mum. She was very happy indeed. They spent the day shopping.

Talking of mothers, I am reminded to last week’s encounter. My son’s school bus’ driver, a single mum, approached me to start teaching her daughter English Language. (I used to be a part time teacher for Accounting & English Language to the Forms 4 & 5 at a tuition centre in the neighbourhood last year and decided to stop doing so since I had to follow my hubby abroad.) I declined politely as I may be going off to another country in the near future. I suggested that she signs up with one of the tuition centres.

For the sake of her child, she pleaded to me and I could not refuse once I noticed that she was in tears. I guess every mum would do anything in her child’s best interest, even if it needs her to put aside her pride. Eventually, I agreed to have her kid at my house for two hours every Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, for free. I had never done it for the money anyway. Just for the love of sharing.

Know what I call that thing which the single mum has? I label it the Power of Motherhood. Naturally, motherhood grants a woman, no matter how young and naïve she may be, the unimaginable power and strength to ensure that her children are loved, happy, healthy, safe and successful. That’s why, since the beginning of time, as early as the first month of pregnancy, mothers would go through the unthinkable for their children. I did that once. I had to forgo my college degree to give way to the pregnancy of my first child. Ten years later, I found myself to be one of the oldest in the class full of youngsters when I resumed my quest for a college degree. Ha..ha..

I was just wondering, with the current lifestyle and only God knows what’s coming in the future, can a child do the same for a mother? I suppose, that’s one of the reason why I started this blog ~ to remind my children and other youngsters about the values and attributes one should adopt in order to live a civilised and decent life. Even if they had the best accomplishments in life, it still means nothing without any values and good attributes.

It’s actually the karma of life. What goes round comes around. I remember a Malay saying that states “A mother can care for ten children, but a child may not be able to care for a mother.” It gives me the chills to even imagine if one day my children decide to keep me away at an old folks home. (They’d better not…or they’d be scraped off from the will!!!)

All in all, maternal instinct is natural in any woman. Even those who are unfortunate enough to conceive one, there are so many ways to be a mother. Bottom line, never give up. On a negative note, I am still annoyed with reports about mothers ‘throwing away’ their newborn babies in the dustbins, by the roadsides, in the toilets et cetera. Please…. If those babies aren’t welcomed, just give away properly. There are still people who would love to raise them as their own.

As for me, I’m blessed with two children, and it looks like that’s it. Since being diagnosed with PCOS last year, I have put a stop to dreaming and hoping for another child, a girl maybe. For now, I’ll just look forward and settle for a daughter-in-law! Overall, I am a happy woman and I am grateful for that.

Home Sweet Home

It has been a week since I got back home, breathing KL's air ( which is filled with dust particles and carbon monoxide from the traffic!). Which ever way, I love my Malaysia.

Just my luck, when we got home, the wireless router was down. So, we sent the thing for repair and still waiting for it to be back. While waiting, I learned something new about myself. I realised that I NEED the Net!! It's pretty torturing for someone who has been constantly browsing the Internet most of the waking hours, to stop doing so abruptly. I am like close to pulling my hair out due to boredom!! Even the plasma Tv in the living room can do me no justice.

So, after the eighth torturing day, here I am right now, at my client's place to finish up some accounting stuff. ( It's just an excuse to get hooked up to the Internet.)~ I am officially an Internet-addict!!!

I had been dying to tell the whole world, our excess baggage was close to RM1,000...USD 361, to be exact...he...he... You guys should have seen my hubby's face when we were told about the excess baggage of 19kg!!!! He turned to me and said, "This is coming out of your allowance!!" Ha..ha... I love my hubby so much...;)

Anyway, I enjoyed being the "Santa Clause" since we touched down. I love looking at the recipient's face light up when we extend any gift or present. It is such a satisfying feeling~ better than chocolate and sex! Ha..ha.. (Excuse me~ Guess, my being back home had shown the jovial side of me!)

I'll continue posting once my Internet connection is okay. ( Not that there's no cyber cafe in my neighbourhood, but it feels awkward to be fighting for a terminal with the teenagers! :D)

If you Have, Give; if you Lack, Seek

So, this will be my last post from Indonesia. Tomorrow (Wednesday the 30th of April) we fly out of Jakarta, touch down in Kuala Lumpur after 2 hours’ flight and then wait for my hubby’s next assignment. I am looking forward to spending some time with our family, especially my mum and parents-in-law. At the same time, I am sad to be leaving friends here and the serenity of this neighbourhood. You'll know what I mean from the pictures.

Here’s a peek of our last two weeks in Indonesia. First, as I promised, the trips to Bandung and Bogor. We had great time shopping in Bandung. It’s where most of the factory outlets are located.

We also had fun in Bogor, especially the Safari. We were very nervous when we were in the dangerous zone - the lions and the tigers’ habitat. Luckily it was past lunch time. Anyone who had been to this Safari will surely agree that the Bird Show and the Wild, Wild West Show are a plus to the excursion. We had decided before we got here that we wanted to purchase some local handicrafts to take home with us. And just my luck (and my hubby’s nightmare!!! he..he..), the annual event of INACRAFT expo, was held in the Jakarta Convention Centre since the 23rd to 27th of April. It was like the whole Indonesian crafts were in one place. Story short, just put it this way....I had entered the hall empty handed and upon walking through the exit door, I had all my fingers hanging with bags. :D (You can’t blame a lady for having good taste!)

Know what’s my ‘weakness’? Whenever I go abroad, I will buy something for everyone at home. When I say everyone, I mean EVERYONE. My hubby calls it my ‘bad’ habit (and it’s already spreading to my children). But, I simply call it generosity. I was brought up with that in me. “Whenever you visit someone, never go empty handed. Even if someone visits you, never let them go empty handed too. No matter how small or how cheap, it does not matter. It’s the thought that counts,” my religious teacher or Ustazah, would teach us in class.

I read somewhere; there was an Afghan saying that goes, “Give even an onion, graciously.” I fully agree with it. Why? During my youngster days, I remember very well that whenever I visited the elderly, they would pack something for me to take home. Cakes, fruits or the least, the day’s home cooked dish. That’s how the traditions of close knitted community affected a girl into the lady I am now. I suppose, it is a delicate methodology to spread love.

The above stated Malay saying had proven that this practice is essential in the community. When we were at the pit bottom of our life, the unemployment episode, everyone we know had unconditionally extended their helping hand to pull us through. So, I guess, souvenir from abroad is nothing compared to that, right?

So, here we are, with an additional huge bag to bring home (I am beginning to worry about the excess baggage charges tomorrow!), all packed up, ready to head home and be like the ‘Santa Clause’ next week! :D

Eat Coconut while you have Teeth

Yesterday was one of my weekly routine ~ my hair day. While blowing my wet hair to dry, something caught my eyes. Then, I recognised it. Oh my goodness!! My first white hair!!!!!! Gosh…I am only 37 going on 38! This can’t be happening so soon! I am an old woman already? (:0) Time flies so fast that we sometimes miss out things going on in our lives, even having white hair (or is it grey hair?). For all that we know it is already there.

Well, who am I kidding? Everyone goes through this process. My hubby, who is only three years my senior, has half of his head shining with white hair. It’s time for me to join the club, I guess. (He enjoyed making fun of me once I told him about it!)

I often thought that being old means looking old and feeling tired. That may not be true. Around here in Jakarta, I see and learn that grandmothers in their late 40s or even 50s are still working as maids or even pulling carts selling food along the roadside. They even look younger and energetic. After a few interviews, I found out that they religiously take ‘jamu’, a bitter mixture of natural ingredients of herbs, since they reached puberty. Another abstention is the ice cubes or even ice water. (Huaaaaa….how can I cut on that??!!!!)

One person that I must highlight here is my mother. She will be 60 this May and she is still looking good and energetic; driving around doing errands or visiting her friends and relatives; and she goes on tours. (For Malay folks, it’s like “What?!!!”) We are both often referred to as sisters, instead of mother and daughter. (Hmmm….Wonder if that downgrades me or upgrades her….;P)

Anyway, I am grateful that I have been blessed with a mother and a grandmother who are so particular and strict about pre and post natal treatment. I remember the hard times I had to go through after giving birth to both my children. Sulking was what I did most of both my 44 confinement days. I had to go through a high carbs, heaty and dry diet. (I suppose that contributed to my additional inches!)

Three times of ‘bertungku’ and ‘berbengkung’ is a daily ritual. ‘Bertungku’ is a treatment of hot river stone wrapped with selected spices and herbs, tied together into a pouch using cotton cloth. The hot pouch is then used as a pressure massage to loosen tense muscles, alleviate pain, and break excess fat and cellulite. It also helps improve the blood circulation and the functioning of uterus, resulting to recharged energy and desire. ‘Berbengkung’ is a tummy wrap made of several metres of cotton cloth. The bengkung is used to wrap the body so as to push up the uterus, clear water retention, wind, spasm, shrinks the tummy and helps to reduce weight.

A pair of socks is like my second skin. It has to be worn 24/7, except to the toilet. And, top of the notch, I am not to get out of my room for 44 days! I was like the princess stuck in a tower. Reason being: to avoid any non-stop bleeding or blood spillage if I accidentally hit anything while walking recklessly around. (Don’t ask me where this came from….I don’t have the answer.)

Nevertheless, now, Walla! After ten years since I last gone through my dreaded after birth confinement period, apart of the stretch marks and my first white hair, I still look good and feel good! As much as I hated the treatment, I guess, it pays off. So, girls, listen to your mum! ;)

About me aging, I hope to enjoy my life to the fullest by growing old gracefully, of course, with my hubby by my side.

Arrogance is the Full Sister of Ignorance

What a long weekend! My in-laws were here for a short holiday and we were happy to accommodate their needs. We went to Bandung and Bogor during the weekend and had an enjoyable time, especially the Safari in Bogor and the factory outlets in Bandung. (I’ll write about it in a later post.)

Anyway, we had encountered an incident on Monday morning. While waiting for my hubby to get into the mpv, my only one-week-old down stairs neighbour had arrogantly scolded our driver just because he was in ‘her’ parking lot. (Since we are living on the top floor of a townhouse, she is our only down stairs neighbour.) To make things more embarrassing, my in-laws were already inside the mpv.

We were shocked with the slim and pretty Chinese lady’s stern and arrogant ‘morning greet’. My hubby just apologized and we moved to start the day’s itinerary, refusing to let the unpleasant occurrence to spoil our spirit of the day.

Once we got home later that afternoon, my hubby called the management to seek their assistance to verify our actual parking lot. We were confused as we had no problems with regards to such matters before. So far, expatriate residents in this community, regardless of their nationalities, live in harmony and tolerance.

To our surprise, we were informed that our usual spot is actually our parking lot as per the master plan of the estate, although the new resident had instructed maintenance office to change our unit’s D-1-5 signage to her D-0-5! Her actual parking lot is about 500 meters further around the block. (Haa..haa..!)

The management apologized for the inconvenience caused and added that the fussy Singaporean lady (who is married to an American), had lodged a handful of miscellaneous complaints since she had moved in. We also learned that we were not the only ‘victim’ of her kiasu attitude. Other neighbours and even the management had the same experience.

Moral of the story is always to behave ourselves once we are abroad and to be considerate to others in all situations. It affects our country’s name as others look at us as our nationality first, then, who we are as a person. No matter how great we feel, there is no harm being polite and humble. At the end of the day, with God’s will, things may turn out the other way around! In our case, we had the last laugh. :)

Cut Your Coat according to Your Cloth

“Abah, please…. I promise to be a good boy. Just buy me the PS3 and I’ll get straight As, I promise. Fadly has one. Daniel also owns one. We’ll have one too, please…,” pleaded my youngest son to his Dad the other weekend.

I was like “What?! You need another game station just because your cousin and friend have one? You already own an X-Box and it’s not enough?” Of course, the request was being declined. (After the you’d-better-not-buy stare I gave my hubby, that is! He was already melting to his son’s Garfield-pleading look.) Talking about raising kids in the new millennium! I suppose that they think buying game stations like X-Box, Nintendo, PS3 or PSP, laptops, i-pods, 3G phones and other hi-tech gadgets is just like buying titbits by the roadside!

When asked why we need another game station, when we already have one, both of my kids explained that the X-Box that we owned is obsolete. It is hard to find new games compared to the latest version of X-Box 360. Thanks to the manufacturer’s business strategy, we, the parents, have to go through this episode once in every couple of years.

I had a chat with few of my friends the other day. It seems that they have the same thing going on at home. Finally,we came up with a hypothesis that these new era kids need these gadgets or tools to keep up appearances with their peers. Their peer pressure in the same slice of segmentation has evolved tremendously compared to what we had gone through last time. No doubt, by letting our children play these games help them to stimulate their visual and mental reflects. But at the end of the day, the effect is yet to be discussed. (Or did I miss that one? :P)

Last time, someone having a BMX bicycle or a ‘game and watch’ would be the most famous fellow in school or in the neighbourhood. Still, that did not cost that guy’s parents a fortune to pay! Imagine paying thousands for these new nannies of the century! Yup, that’s what I decided to call these gadgets. The new nannies!

Nowadays, more children tend to be spending more time indoors with these gadgets compared to be having quality outdoor activities. However, on a brighter note, with the increase of child kidnapping cases these days, I guess, parents are left with no choice but to encourage our children to stay indoors. Nevertheless, without realising it, we are actually growing a new bunch of couch potatoes. No wonder the statistics of obese children had risen up tremendously as the years passed.

So, parents, are we prepared to be hustled by the latest breed of salesmen, our own kids?

The Devil Dances in Empty Pockets

These few weeks, I have been reading closely about the rise of two major global issues. It shakes me up to even think of the consequences of the situation.

First, we have the credit crisis in the US that had domino effect on markets around the world. Inflation rates are also on the rise globally. Although top financial officials claimed that the Asian region is not at risk of another financial crisis similar to the 1997 downturn as the current situation is completely different from 11 years ago, I still have my doubts. The fear of recession had always haunted me since we had our share of unemployment episode for two years, back then. So, lesson learnt. Be prepared for the next round.

Next, we have the world food crisis, which is worse than the world financial crisis as it’s hurting a lot more people around the globe. Over the past few years, the prices of rice, wheat, cooking oil, chillies and other basic foodstuffs have doubled or tripled, with much of the increase taking place just in the past few months. There already have been food riots around the world.

It may be okay to the high income families around the world, regardless any country they are in. As long as they are considered wealthy in their society, the rising price of food is just another daily squabble of the kitchen personnel. It is a different story for families who have to live from hand to mouth. Living on a budget tight enough to choke them may result in higher percentage of poverty and of course, crimes and vice.

After reading about the armed robbery involving about RM3.3 million at the KLIA last week, I was left with awe. How could that have happened? In Malaysia? Twenty or thirty years back, we could hardly read about such dangerous crime in the newspapers!

Then, it struck me. I suppose the rising crime rate everywhere in the world today, including Malaysia, is because of the instability and inadequacy of each individual’s well being. It may be in terms of financially, spiritually, mentally et cetera. The desire to fulfil one’s ‘wants’ exceeds the desire to fulfil just one’s ‘needs’.

Remember when we were in school, we were taught that the cavemen had to have barbaric qualities in order to survive? I think it is happening again. The humankind had gone back to where we came from, the barbarians. After centuries of cultural evolution, our ancestors’ efforts seem to be wasted down the drain. Everywhere we see, there is no more guilt of taking things not ours. No more sincerity in doing things. Not even fear of sin for taking someone else’s life! What a world we are living in! (I guess, due to the excessiveness of jungle clearing, had made the beasts and devils in the jungle to choose each of these beings as their ‘new home’ that had turned them to be selfish human beings or maybe even zombies!....So, stop chopping down the trees!)

I looked at my children and my heart sank. What will be in store for them two or three decades from now? I do not have the answer. Like any other mother, I may be able to just say, “Que sera sera…” but I feel that it is my obligation as the older generation now to preserve and hand down the gift of life God had given me, not only with quantity, but also with quality.

As for the two major global crises, on the macro level, let those with the bird’s eye view do their jobs. All we have to do at the micro level is just to put our best foot forward.

Courtesy is Free

It was a beautiful Wednesday morning as always yesterday, until I checked my inbox to read e-mails from friends, near and far. Among the many mails, there was a mail for a comment sent to this humble blog of mine. How sweet…. Someone had dropped by and left me a note. What a beautiful Wednesday indeed.

Eagerly, I read through the lines and how astonished I was with the tone of it. At the beginning, that was how it was; but later it amused me that I just decided to reject and ignore the comment.

Later in the evening, over a pile of creased clothes, while doing the normal homemaker’s dreaded chore of ironing, I decided to give my two cents. (Don’t know whether it was either the heat and steam from the iron or the adrenaline rush from being challenged by a stranger that had affected this change of decision!) Nevertheless, I was and still am happy to have the following constructive critic for my effort to shift the paradigm of the normal typical Malay SAHM population. You may be asking, "How can this help?", right?.... Well, put it this way…. Blogging may be a new therapy for women to release their stress and let their frustration out. Therefore, there will be a lower percentage of nagging wives and mothers at home! Make any sense?

Anyway, the mail wrote:

abdul has left a new comment on your post "Here We Go!!":

hehe.. wat blog plak ek..jom kita tgk berapa lama bertahan.. saya dulu just 1 month only, pastu malaih dah.. wakakaka

So, Encik Abdul, whoever and wherever you may be, younger or older than me, I must say, “From the bottom of my heart, thank you.”

That’s the least I can do considering that it is just what I was taught to do, back in my school days. My headmistress, Sister Aidan, a well-built and strict Irish nun, had taught me well. So did my Ustaz Ahmad of the Penang State Mosque. And of course, so did my very particular and disciplined parents, grandparents, aunties, uncles and the whole tribesmen!

Then, we were taught to be polite, well mannered, ethical et cetera. The simplest thing as greetings such as “Assalamu’alaikum” or “Good Morning” or “Hello” was essential to portray our traits, personality and teachings. It was also a very important indicator of how refined our family’s principles and background were. We owe it to our forefathers (or even our ancestors!) to uphold what had been taught and brought down the line of the family tree.

Nowadays, I find that most children lack these values. I don’t really know what they are teaching in school these days, but I see very unsatisfactory products out of it. (Speaking from the experience as a mother to two hyperactive boys, trust me, I know what I am talking about!) There are no more ‘Sister Aidans’ or ‘Ustaz Ahmads’ around to assist these kids in schools. Schools are now more exam-oriented. (And it is beginning to sound more like the manufacturing term of “result-oriented” each year!). That’s why more mothers, like me, are staying at home; to make sure that these values be inculcated in our children. (And in case you are wondering…..Nope, my Mum had worked two shifts daily throughout the whole 35 years of her life and now happily enjoying her pension! Thanks to teachers like Sister Aidan and Ustaz Ahmad, she can have it all...)

In short, Encik Abdul, if you may have any difficulty digesting my humble English Language (not that I belittle your ability and skills!; sincerely, I do apologise if you feel offended in any manner), I’ll just translate it in these two Malay sentences that my grandmother used to nag at her grandchildren, “Kalau masuk rumah orang, bagi salam dulu, jangan tau serbu saja! Dah masuk, duduk diam-diam kat depan, jangan meronda satu rumah!”….. Another thing, I extend my sympathy for your failure to continue what you had started that lasted just a month, after being stung by the typical Malay ‘bug’ i.e. laziness.

At least, I am in my second month!… And still going, InsyaAllah….;)

Every End has a New Beginning

A few days ago, I received news that one of my friend’s father had passed away in a road accident. I know it must have been difficult for her and she is struggling hard this moment.

Kak Ina, be strong! Banyakkan berdoa…Semoga Allah mencucuri Rahmat ke atas rohnya…

I know how she feels right now. I had my share of grieving moments ten years back. I lost my Dad to a sudden heart attack when I was two weeks away from delivering my youngest child. Imagine that! It was really bad. What makes it worse was that I was supposed to spend the day with him that day, but instead, I decided to postpone the visit later that afternoon. As if my guilt was not enough, I was told that he had talked to all of my family members, except me, earlier that fateful day. It was as though he knew his time was up. My mum told me that he complained that the line could not get through when he tried calling me several times. I guess, I had practically cried myself to labour! I even had illusions that my Dad had kissed my forehead while I was sleeping after the delivery.

I remember reading somewhere, a Chinese proverb said “We cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over our heads, but we can refuse to let them build nests in our hair”. That was when I decided to turn the table around and look at it from a different perspective. I started to count my blessings. I was lucky to have my husband and my eldest child, who was only four at that time. My hubby became my pillar of support and to my surprise, my four year old was acting mature enough to be my soothing charm.

Anyway, the important lesson of life when we loose someone dear to us is that for every lost, there will be a replacement. It may be in so many ways…All we have to do is to start looking and analysing, to realise what or who it is. It sounds weird and funny at the same time, right? Well, look around us. Everything has a cycle. Eventually it makes a lot of sense. Death is the great leveller. In my case, God had given our family with the gift of a newborn life, as the antidote to our sorrow. I began to understand that everything that happens in life has a continuous story or reason to it. As much as we hate to loose, may it be someone or something, we have to accept the fact that every adversity carries with it the seed of equal or greater benefit. It’s just life. And with each difficulty that we have to go through, it will make each of us a better person.

East, West, Home's Best

W.K. Kelly was right. No matter where on the globe we are, home is where the heart is. Not that I’m being selfish; but I think everybody has the same opinion.

When I was younger, I used to assume that being able to travel the world is an exceptional way to live a life. I eventually learned that travelling the world is also a journey of self discovery. I started to appreciate the little things in life such as the people around me, the freedom, the food, the health et cetera.

Anyway, we had flown back home to KL during the weekend for a few days. The first thing that was on our agenda was to 'hit' our favourite nasi kandar restaurant. Hmmm…it was heaven on earth! :)

It is a sumptuous national dish, brought to Malaysia 70 years ago by the Indian Muslim immigrants. Since the 1930s, nasi kandar has played a distinctive role in the culinary history of the colonial Penang, and later throughout the nation. The aroma of the rice and fragrant curries, vegetables, fried fish, beef and chicken could make the mouth water. What makes nasi kandar unique is how the different curries are all mixed with the rice.

I was so into indulging myself with the food that I forgot to snap a picture! :p.... Anyway, found an image on Yahoo!...and this is how it looks like….

Earth is Dearer than Gold

Tonight is the night where cities around the world will shut off their lights for an hour, starting from 8 pm, to deliver a powerful message about the need for action on global warming. Promoted by the World Wide Fund for Nature Australia (WWF), Earth Hour is the highlight of a major campaign to encourage businesses, communities and individuals to take the simple steps needed to cut their emissions on an ongoing basis. It is about simple changes that will collectively make a difference – from businesses turning off their lights when their offices are empty, to households turning off appliances rather than leaving them on standby.

It will be just a mere hour to be in the dark. It is our choice to make changes. It is not like we are forced to be in the dark without electricity. Trust me, it would be scary.

Back in September 1999, when central Taiwan was hit with a destructive earthquake, we were in Kaoshiung, a city down south of the island. Had rushed to Taipei to get the next flight back to Malaysia but the airport was closed as the electricity was cut off. That night was the longest night of my life! We had to climb 12 storeys of stairs in order to get to our friend's apartment in the dark, with a baby, a toddler and luggages clinging to us. The aftershock tremors felt throughout the night made it impossible to sleep. As they say, the earth was really 'angry'.

Since young, we were taught to do our bit to help Mother Nature. I still remember my Dad used to give his I-don’t-like-that look, each time we absent-mindedly walked out a room without switching off the lights or fans. In school, my teachers would go on and on about recycling, reducing and reusing; which eventually became my favourite hobby. (There was once, I don’t mind looking like an idiot, trying to ‘fish’ an empty can out of the drain in front of my house, back in Malaysia!) At home, my youngest kid gets very annoyed each time he is to wear his elder brother’s hand-me-down clothes. Over here in Indonesia, I tend to be thrifty and save money from buying unnecessary containers when I can just make do with a nicely cut out plastic bottles.

The next generation should be taught to be aware, uphold and practise these values. It is no longer an awareness of any campaign but it is a good value to live life. Not only it will help them to be a better person by being sensitive to the environment, they will also learn to save and get creative.

So, let’s just have an hour of romantic evening under the moonlight and the stars tonight!

Wealth is Not His that has It, but His that Enjoys It

I received a forwarded e-mail from a friend yesterday. After reading it, I felt that it would be good to share it rather than to just waste it in the recycle bin. (Moreover, it kept repeating in my head throughout the day!! :P). There is no doubt about the truth with regards to the metaphor used. Ben Franklin (1706-1790) was really wise to come up with the above saying. Anyway, I’ll just leave it to you guys to digest….


Subject: Quite like this....

A group of alumni, all highly established in their respective careers, got together for a visit with their old university professor. The conversation soon turned to complaints about the endless stress of work and life in general.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went into the kitchen and soon returned with a large pot of coffee and an eclectic assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal - some plain, some expensive, some quite exquisite. Quietly he told them to help themselves to some fresh coffee. When each of his former students had a cup of coffee in hand, the old professor quietly cleared his throat and began to patiently address the small gathering.

'You may have noticed that all of the nicer looking cups were taken up first, leaving behind the plainer and cheaper ones. While it is only natural for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is actually the source of much of your stress-related problems.'

He continued… 'Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In fact, the cup merely disguises or dresses up what we drink. What each of you really wanted was coffee, not a cup, but you instinctively went for the best cups. Then you began eyeing each other's cups...''Now consider this: Life is coffee - Jobs, money and position in society, are merely cups. They are just tools to shape and contain life, and the type of cup we have does not truly define nor change the quality of the Life we live. Often by concentrating only on the cup we fail to enjoy the coffee that God has provided us. God brews the coffee, but he does not supply the cups. Enjoy your coffee!'

The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything... So remember: LIVE SIMPLY, LOVE GENEROUSLY, CARE DEEPLY, SPEAK KINDLY, LEAVE THE REST TO GOD.

There's No Glory without a Sacrifice

Goshhh...It's Lazy Monday again....After a long weekend, had to drag myself out of bed to start another week. Being a SAHM does not mean that there's no chores and errands to be done. Learned that the hard way!. :P

Back then, when I was part of the workaholic crowd, I used to imagine that being a SAHM would meant having nothing to do and no objectives or goals to achieve. Well, as they say, you never know what lies right around the corner... Know what? I realised that I actually do not have enough time! 24 hours a day is not enough! Apart from the chores, there's the kids and their informal education, the part-time business, the friends, the neighbours, the extended families etc etc. Of course, the last of the list would be me. What do I get out of it?..... Took me some time to get the answer..... Love. Yes. The answer is love. I am able to give love and receive more love.

I used to be angry with myself for being what I have became. To give up things that matter. To forgo things that I believed in. Was I in the position to be angry? Do I have that right? We were once taught to be good girls, study hard, obtain good grades, get hold of a decent job, get married to the right guys, be good wives and mothers, and ...... That's it?!. Was that the full circle? Or did they assumed that we will finally grow up and get some sense to do what's best next? How come no one taught us that life itself would be such a hard work, especially emotionally? We have to give, in order to receive.

Nevertheless, I eventually learned that by chucking away my obsession to climb up the career ladder and being at home 24/7 had made everyone good. I have the privilege to attend to everyone's need. Most satisfyingly, I have the ability to extend a helping hand to those who seek for it. I suppose it is my obligation to everyone to make myself available.

As I recall my childhood days, I can still remember that each family institution has its own functional sub units where apart from our parents and siblings, we have extended family members like grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins etc, whom we look up to. Each individual, regardless how busy or crazy their lives were, will religiously function as who they were supposed to function.

Nowadays, everyone is so engrossed with themself. Things are mostly taken for granted. The new generation no longer sees or hears from their uncles or aunties, or even grandparents, more than twice or three times a year. Everyone stays far apart from each other due to urbanisation and better living, I guess. When I was young, I couldn't even go to the sundry shop without bumping into one of my relatives!!( Thinking back, how suffocating could that have been!) Well, there is always pro and cons to the situation.

All that we want in life is merely just happiness. How we function, is up to each individual to analyse, adopt and conduct. If we don't function how and what we are supposed to, then, eventually in time, the function will 'find' us, whether we like it or not!. My best guess, that is what I am living through now. Like it? Yes, I do.

Here We Go!!

Well...this is my first time writing a blog (after years of reading others'!). I had the urge to go for it lately as there's lots of things in my mind. I do want to give this a try, though.

I love to see the network of cyber friends being created in this beautiful new era of communication. It has been inspiring to learn how big and rich our lives can become, just by sitting in our studies or anywhere that can be hooked up to the Internet!. It really is fascinating.

Anyway, I have to give credit to Farina for her 'indirect motivation' for me to start this.