Happy is as Happy does

It’s the end of the year again. For as long as I can remember, I love year ends. Since I was a young girl, I remember having my father around for the whole December each year. He purposely cleared his Annual Leave throughout the whole of December, and that makes it a family ritual, where we would have our father all to ourselves during the year end. The memory of the following year’s preparation for a new school term would linger around my father’s active presence and participation in the whole process.

Well, this year’s December seem to be much more meaningful to me. Why? Because, after three false alarms – where right after the first one, had forced my hubby to rush home immediately from Lagos; after two solid weeks of Medical Leave with the strict instruction to stay in bed and after numerous episodes of contractions, I had successfully given birth to another baby boy on Friday, the 26th, at 5.55 pm, with the help of my new best friend, the epidural. (Thank you to the fellow who invented epidural!) Although he is 25 days early, he is healthy.

Yeap, you read it right…it’s a boy again! He..he.. (Guess the strong male gene runs in the family!) So, that makes him the seventh grandson in a row for my mum!!! Well, here he is….

This is my sixth day of confinement and so far, it has been quite an experience, considering that I had long forgotten how the birthing process should have been. With the latest products for confinement mums, I am so grateful that confinement nowadays is a more pleasant experience. This time, although I still religiously follow my family’s traditions of confinement ‘ritual’, I am open to adopt modern and medically recommended products to be blended with the traditional ways.

Anyway, wishing all a Happy New Year and May Next Year Be A Better One Than This Year.

Do not Allow Sins to Get beyond Creeping

Compartmentalisation. Organisation. I came across these words when I was trying to figure out how to describe ‘catalog’ when I was doing a write up for my work. Then, it struck me; wonder if these words could be applied to our lives. I could not help thinking about it throughout the whole journey home from work that day.

Can anyone in this world possibly compartmentalise his or her life? (Of course, I mean besides those who really are sick with the multiple personality illness.) Do normal, healthy and wise people like us able to segregate our lives, especially our emotions and relationship, into different compartments?

Hmmm… Let’s see… Since young, we were taught attributes that could have prevented us from becoming such a person. We were taught never to lie to anyone, including ourselves. We were taught to be true to everyone, including God, our family, teachers, friends, relatives, partners et cetera. Back then, the word or concept of multi tasking was not really emphasized. We were to concentrate one task at a time. Finish things completely, one by one, with excellence. That was why when we see any child; we would always go with the sentence, “Oh! What an angel..” It is because we were taught to be an angel. As we grow up, the real world became our teacher to adjust and change these attributes to  be a more complex and complicated  in nature . What had happened to the ‘angel’ in us?

Today, we frequently read in the newspapers and the magazines about the alarming rising rate of divorce cases in Malaysia, especially the Muslim. There are also common cases of people being charged with corruption, abuse of power, adultery et cetera. What is going on? Had these people been compartmentalising their lives that they failed to handle the truth? Or had they been living a lie, that they tend to segregate their lives like a catalog that can conveniently be flipped and chosen from? If this is the world we are living in, I am so afraid for my children. How will it be for them? Will the values that we so very hard try to instill, be gone once they start to join the real world?

On the other hand, I wonder, do I live a life that can qualify me to be considered as one of this new species of human being? The last time I checked, I am still the person who I am. But, am I entitled to be my own judge? Hmm… Need to postmortem on this issue. Need to jot down in my journal, to add ‘soul search’ into my to-do list.

Anyway, I hope everything turns out right for everyone. After all, happiness is the ultimate thing that everyone seeks. It is just a matter of how we interpret it.

Adversity is a Gift

It has been some time since I last penned down my thoughts in this blog. I apologise to my regular readers and thank you for the e-mails dropped.

I had gone through a very interesting quarter of a year, the past three months, I mean. There were events that I could not digest until now that I decided to just go with the flow. Fated, I guess.

First, there was “The Accident” on our National Day, involving our car and a seventeen year old ‘Mat Rempit’ (or the ever-dangerous-street-cup-racer), which resulted our car to be stuck at the workshop for about a month, particularly, the Ramadhan or the fasting month; and the “Mat Rempit” to break his wrist. That was the first time ever, I saw a real stuntman, flying from his motorbike across the road, without any cameraman or director saying “Cut!”. I know it is not polite to be saying this, but, serves him right. Civilised human beings do not use the public road as a racing ring. Hope that he had learned his lesson.

Then, there was “The Operation” on the twentieth day of the fasting month. My eldest was complaining that he was having tummy ache due to constipation. We visited the general practitioner in our neighbourhood and she gave him a prescription for constipation and gastric pain. Guess what, it got worse and he soon had a temperature and was later referred to the specialist hospital. Immediately, he was warded as the doctors suspected that he had appendices pain. We were assured that it would be just a minor operation, taking about an hour tops. Next morning, after an hour long of waiting in front of the Operation Theater, the surgeon came out, with lots of blood on his scrub, asking our consent to cut longer than the one or so inches promised. He diagnose that my son’s appendices had burst and had severely affected his intestines. I nearly fainted, just by looking at the sight of the surgeon, let alone, with the gruesome news of the severity of my son’s illness! Luckily, hubby was with me, supporting me, physically.

Three and a half hours later, he was pushed to the Intensive Care Unit, when at the same time, the surgeon, came out explaining to us what had been done and showed us the ruined 10cm intestine which he had to cut off from my son’s abdomen. In the ICU, my heart sank over and over again, looking at how my son suffered. There were four tubes coming out from his body. One from his intestine and skin, to drain out the pus and germs; one from his other part of the intestine, to flow out his faeces; one from his nose, to drain out the hydrochloric acid from his tummy and one from his urine system, to drain out his urine. Apart from that there was a needle poking his hand to flow in his medicine, pain killer etc. It was really heart wrenching to see a thirteen year old having to go through such a thing.

He was not to take any fluid or food orally as his intestine had no activity and while waiting, he had vomited the hydrochloric acid from his stomach over and over again. We were not allowed to stay back in the ICU until three days later, where he was allowed to be placed in the single room ward. We literally camped in the hospital for eleven days, until two days before Eid Mubarak. Yup, not much to celebrate, except that we were grateful he was alive and getting better. Thankful because according to the specialist, in most cases of appendices which had burst and had infected the intestine, there would have been a very slim chance he could have survived. Today, he is well and healthy, life is back to normal.

Then, there was “The Work”, which ‘came’ to me a month ago. One of my clients (who is  also my hubby's friend) had offered me a very irresistible position in the organization. With a 150% increase in remuneration compared to what I was being paid as their consultant, I was offered the Head of Department’s position, regardless the fact that I was twenty eight weeks’ pregnant and asking to be in the office only four hours a day and work-at-home another four hours; the Board of Directors insisted that I came on board. It was too good to be true for a stay at home mum like me. On one hand, it was the excitement, but on the other hand, it was the guilt for leaving my kids at home, although it was only about six hours a day - inclusive the journey of forty minutes each way to and from KL. At last, after listing down the pros and cons, I opted to take the challenge and so far, it has been one and a half months! The solution: I take the challenge one day at a time. It was difficult at first, since my hubby had to be back in Nigeria three weeks ago. Everything has to be done all on my own. Discipline is my daily melody. Waking up as early as five every morning to prepare breakfast and lunch for the boys, and off to the office until I am back in the afternoon, to escape the terrible jam. Now, it has become a routine for us.

I was telling myself, in times of recession, I am not in the position to be picky and choosy, especially in my case, I did not apply for the job, but the job applied me! All I have to do is to be like the squirrels, gather as much nuts as possible for the winter season.

God has His ways to do things. Odd ones though. I do not wish that wealth be bestowed upon us by sacrificing my child’s intestine, my time with the children and my hubby’s time with the family. God knows better what’s in store for us. All that we can do is just do the best we can, within our boundaries, and pray hard that everything will turn out well and okay.

A Crown's No Cure for a Headache

Adulthood is responsibility. How did that happen?.....That had crossed my mind today. Hmm...How I have missed my childhood days; and of course, the ever exciting and carefree times of my adolescent life…Who wouldn’t?

We were taught to be ever ready to take responsibilities, no matter we like it or not, no matter what it would be, without any reservation. The truth is, it sucks. I envy those who can just shut down the ‘unwanted’ or ‘undesired’ responsibilities and be picky, just to suit their lifestyle or just simply their convenience.

Maybe because I was crowned to be the first born, the pressure of taking the saddle onto my back was intense, since as far back as I can remember. I guess, due to that fact, I can’t help but I seem to be putting that same pressure on my eldest child. I can see his resentment but in my belief, it is for his own good and the younger sibling(s)’ good. I try to evaluate each and every action that I make at every end of a day. I can only sum up in one sentence ~ it is tough being an adult but life must go on. We just have to make do with what’s blessed and given to us. Swallow it down our throat and don’t make any fuss about it. Try our level best not to worsen the situation, whatever it is.

Anyway, had received good news from my youngest brother today; we are blessed with another baby boy in the family, at about 11.56 am this morning. His second son was born today, as the Beijing Olympic 2008 starts. It was a normal birth, without any epidural or induction process. For all that we know, it was fate and good luck, because there are so many couples around the globe trying their very best, praying hard, scheduling for c-sections and even trying to induce labour so as to just have their babies on this historical date of 08.08.08 as their child’s birth date. I must be prepared later for my Chinese friends who will be saying “Huaaa… so ong la….” And with that, he makes the sixth grandchild for my mum, where all of them are BOYS. What a score!

Thinking back, how weird life can turn out to be. My baby brother, who was obviously the baby in the house, everything made for, very well pampered, is now a father of two boys. Will he be a real man who can take real responsibilities? Or does that ‘leadership’ being partially delegated to my sister-in-law who is the second child of four in her family? With that thought, I revert back to my situation. My hubby is a baby brother in his family too. Does that make him any less of a responsible man? Gee… I really have to see deeply into this matter…(after 15 years’ of marriage?…he..he ) Bottom line, I love the person whom both of them are. Maybe the 'give and take' makes things less frictional and makes everything balanced. That’s why they say marriage is made in heaven, because in true fact heaven is created by a blissful marriage. Am I making any sense? Or is it my maternal hormones talking?...

Anyway, I still say adulthood sucks. I wish I can be back in the 80s where everyday, life was a laid back, enjoyable, fun, exciting, interesting, carefree, stress free and heart warming event.

A Burden that One Chooses is Not Felt

Hmmmm….with this bulging belly of mine and additional kilos slowly catching me up, I am more prone to be a couch potato these days. Luckily I have few projects to keep me busy.

First, the SPM’s trial exam is just round the corner and both my student and I are really nervous about it.

Next, since it is past mid of the year, the audit exercise for my clients had just began. So, I’m up to my elbows doing ‘spring cleaning’ with the files and documents before being sent to the ever so stern auditors.

And last but not least, the preparation for my hubby's nephew’s wedding. Since the school holiday is just a couple of weeks away, I am busy preparing/decorating the gifts from the groom for the bride. Since I was a young a girl, I love ‘busybodying’ when the adults starts this process; and over the years, I tend to pick up the skills. It’s actually the hidden creative side of me emerging each time there’s wedding bells to be rung. These are a few which I had done and I promise to post more of the gifts and the occasion once the ceremony is done on the 16th.

Since hubby is still in Lagos, my routine chores had doubled with regards to the boys. This includes screaming at the top of my lungs just to remind them to either put the dirty laundry in the washing machine, feed the cats or even do their homework. Gee…boys will always be boys.

All in all, I am still hanging on steady, for now….